Aragorn Snaps
by Two High Hobbits
Summary: Hello. I am indeed the old Elvengrl22 and decided to move this story over onto this account and yes, continue it! As for my other username. I'm not sure how to delete them so it's just gonna stay there! This story is really random and i hope you like!
1. It Starts to Show

Aragorn Snaps Chapter 1: It starts to show "Ha.. Another day with a lot of weird people." thought Pippin to himself as he got out of bed. He watched as Legolas yelled at Aragorn who used that last of his hair spray.  
  
"I can't believe you did that! First you get dirt on my Gucci tunic and now you use all of my 10,000-dollar hair spray? What sort of guy are you?" ranted Legolas fury building in his eyes.  
  
"Well. what did you suppose I do! I didn't have time to go to the store!!!!!" retorted Aragorn. He sounded a little different to Pippin. His voice had become high and squeaky. He had his hair died bright orange and was slicked back with Legolas' hair gel.  
  
"Are you ok, Aragorn? Did you make any brake through in your 'Special Group'?" Pippin questioned slowly backing up.  
  
"Why yes, Celeborn, my therapist, said that I should express my self! And I always wanted to have my hair like this!" Said Aragorn. His eyes were lighting up.  
  
"Okk.." said Legolas.  
  
"Hey.. *YAWN* Wassup you guys.." Said Merry as he shuffled in hugging his stuffed Ent snuggy.  
  
"Ha!!!! I just had the perfect idea! I think Merry and Pippin should get out more! Don't you Legolas" said Aragorn his voice beginning to sound as if it would blast off.  
  
"Umm yea sure what ever.." Said Legolas he was reading his "E in Elf is for Extraordinary fashionable" magazine and wasn't really paying attention.  
  
"Great then it's settled! We'll all go to hooters tonight!" said Aragorn Jumping up and down and clapping his hands. Merry and Pippin stared at each other with worried glances. Aragorn was becoming.. No.. couldn't be...  
  
~~~~~Later that Night~~~~~  
  
Legolas walked in dragging his feet. He was behind Aragorn who had threatened to use all his shampoo if he didn't come along. Merry and Pippin weren't so excited either. Aragorn on the other hand was having a blast he was wearing a tight bright green sweat suit.  
  
"Lets go every one! Follow me!" said Aragorn.  
  
"Ughhh!" every one replied in unison as they followed him into the disco lighted room. "Name." Said a big body guard at the front desk.  
  
"LAMP plz!" said Aragorn. "Get it! All of our initials together make Lamp! Isn't that soooo cool?!?!?!?!?" said Aragorn who was basically collapsing underneath all of his.. wait should I say it.. No..  
  
"Great yeah. Lets just go! My tunic my get wrinkled underneath this bright light." Said Legolas.  
  
"Merry and Pippin cummon I'll show you how to have a 'booooooys' night out." Aragorn said and then hopped away. Merry and Pippin looked at each other and followed reluctantly. Just then a scream was heard and Legolas followed by millions of girls ran into the restaurant. He picked up his cell phone and dialed.  
  
"Hello?.. Yea Hi George.. I wanna talk to my agent.. Yea.. that's him. yea I got a code red over here.. Ok ya... bye" and Legolas hung up his phone and stood completely still. "Take another and I will sue you tell you have no more money to even keep the pictures of me from a magazine!" said Legolas with pride in every sound he made. The girls looked at each other and ran our from hooters. "Haa and stay out!" said Legolas with an evil grin on hi face.  
  
"Ok that wasn't expected.. But who cares! All the more drama for tonight! Ok lets suing a song! The wheels on Gandlaf's chariot go round and round, round and round. The wheels on Gandalf's chariot go round and round, all through the Shire!" Aragorn sung merrily.  
  
"Ok I think that's enough excitement for one day!" Said Legolas. But Aragorn wouldn't stop. He sung for about 3 hours straight before every one else just stopped and picked up the frozen Aragorn who was still singing and left the restaurant. 


	2. Whats the Macarena?

Chapter 2: What's the Macarena?  
  
Finally Legolas, Merry and Pippin were able to get the still singing Aragorn back home. They were currently living in Rivendell with Aragorn watching Imladris while Arwen and Elrond were away in Rohan. It was supposed to be a friendly visit but.. well... You get the picture.  
  
Legolas put him on a chair and went to go take a shower. He had at least three whole pieces of dust on him and refused to let any one look at him. Merry and Pippin who had purchased the new Michelle Branch CD and had plugged head phones into the CD player and were bobbing their heads around trying to drown out the infernal racket of Aragorn's voice.  
  
Soon Legolas came out in a bright lilac robe with his hair up in a bun. He was sobbing wet and was fishing through his drawers with one hand, and with the other drowning out Aragorn's voice by putting his hand over his ear. He picked out his silver tunic and quickly went into the bathroom. He came out with a brush and hair drier. He sat down at his portable cosmetic stand and egan to dry his hair, still only using one hand because he had the other on his ear. He brushed it, braided a couple strands and put some hair gel in. "Ahhh! That's better." Said Legolas in content.  
  
"What did you say?" Shouted Pippin across the room trying to be heard over Aragorn.  
  
"I said.. Oh never mind!" Said Legolas.  
  
Just then Aragorn left his trance of singing and yawned. "*Yawn* Hello guys! That was a good singing session. Don't you think?" Aragorn said. He was acting as if he was sleeping and he was starting to scare every one.  
  
"Ummmmm... Are you feeling alright, Aragorn? Said Merry carefully.  
  
"Why Merry ol' chum! I've never felt better! Notin' like a good sing along to get your spirits up!" Said Aragorn.  
  
"And I'm sure everyone was singing along with you." Muttered Legolas.  
  
"What did you say Legolas" Said Aragorn. "Is there any thing you would like to tell us about? Anything you're going through?"  
  
"Uhhhhh.. No of course not! I was just thinking maybe we should.. Umm... Do a *Cough* Dance?" Said Legolas both randomly and awkwardly.  
  
"Why Legolas! What a smashing idea? I just learned a new dance called the Macarena! This is gonna be great!" Said Aragorn who was flipping through some CDs.  
  
"Thanks a lot Legolas." Said Pippin sarcastically.  
  
"Yea I have an idea! Let's do a dance with Aragorn." Mocked Merry. I mean you have to give it to them. Who wants to a dance with a guy whose.. Should I say it.. No it's not the right time nor place.  
  
"Ahh! Here it is! My role model's CD. Ricky Martin! He's amazing! Now. The dance is called the Macarena. Just follow my moves and do what I do!" he began to bob up and down and the others followed. "Ready! Here we go and. One maca Two maca Three macorina! Maca, four maca five maca six Macarena. Seven maca eight maca nine Macarena! Heeeeyyyy Macarena!!!" As Aragorn did this he went through all of the moves.  
  
Legolas was very confused about this and just sorta stared at Aragorn who was having the time of his life! "Cummon Legolas you can do it! We believe in you!" said Aragorn encouragingly.  
  
"Sure.. Maybe he does but I sure don't.." Whispered Pippin to Merry. Both of them had gotten it right away. They did not know it then but Later on they would find out the hobbits were descended from rap stars. Legolas gave up and sat down and watched them dance.. On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on And well... You get the picture. 


	3. Hospital Time

Chapter 3: Hospital Time  
  
Finally they stopped and Legolas sighed with relief. Suddenly the phone rang. "I'lllll ggggeeeetttt iiitttt!!!!!!!" Aragorn sung and he merrily skipped over to the phone. "Hello?... Why hello dear!..... How is your trip in Rohan?.... I miss you over here!... OMG! You don't say!.. Really?.. Well.. Ok.." Aragorn covered the speaking part of the phone and called to Legolas, "Phone." Legolas skipped over and picked it up. "Hello?" Said Legolas. "Hi Legolas? This is Arwen." She said. "Oh hi! Wassup?" said Legolas. "Is it just me or does Aragorn sound.. Well.. Different" "It's not you. He HAS changed. He's been acting all weird and stuff." "What kind of what KIND of weird.." "It can't be explained. You have to see it for yourself." "Well I'm coming down tonight. Please watch him for me Legolas. Bye bye." "Later Arrie." *CLICK* Legolas looked up where he saw Aragorn dangling out of a window by a piece of dental floss. "ARAGORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Legolas shouted but it was to late. He fell out of the window and down four stories. Legolas ran to the window and looked out. He could here Aragorn's cries, "Wheeee!!!!!!!!! Owww!" He hit a flag pole. "Wheeeeee!!!!!! Owwww!!!!" He hit a flower pot. "Wheeeee!!!!!! And then he finally hit the pavement. "OWWW!!!! Wow! That's gonna leave a .." than he passed out. ~~~~~~~~~~A few Hours Later~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Arwen walked into a small hospital room (This is modern day Lord of the Rings incase you haven't guessed) where he saw a battered Aragorn jumping up and down. "Honey?" Arwen asked as he walked in. "Hi *bounce bounce* Arwen *bounce bounce* How *bounce bounce* was *bounce bounce* your *bounce bounce* trip?"*bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce* Aragorn said through bounces. "Isn't he supposed to be lying down or something?" Arwen asked Legolas. "Well.. He is but the hospital just finished putting their whole supplies of tranquilizers in him. They're calling neighbors." Said Legolas. "Harsh.." Said Arwen. She turned to Aragorn then said, "How are you feeling?" "Well.. OMG!!! I just totally love your dress girl! Way posh! It is sooooo hip!" Said Aragorn. He was using his Girly teenager voice again. "Arwen turned to Legolas then whispered, "Has he been like this before?" "He was like this before yes of course! This is his calm side." Said Legolas. "I know! We'll take all of this Tranquilizer liquidy stuff and ill give it to you guys!" Aragorn said. "Wait No.." Legolas and Arwen said and unison but it was too late. Arwen and Legolas passed out on the floor. 


	4. Curse of the Cheese Fries

A/N: I switched SN's. and decided to continue on the story. umm. sorry its so late! Hope you like it! -Two High Hobbits  
  
Aragorn Snaps  
  
Chapter 4 Curse of the Cheese Fries  
  
When Arwen and Legolas finally came to they weren't really shocked by the absence of Aragorn. They began frantically searching until they heard a familiar voice singing "THE ANSWER MY FRIEND IS BLOWING IN THE WIND! THE ANSWER IS BLOWING IN THE WIND!" It was coming from out the window.  
  
"Great, I already think I know where this is going." Grunted Legolas as they looked out. There was Aragorn butt naked eating cheese fries.  
  
"Oh my god!" Arwen screamed, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!"  
  
"Oh hi honey! I felt really confined by all of that clothing! So I took it off! Then I was hungry and saw a cheese fry cart. When I got there the guy ran away screaming. I figured he wanted to be nice and let me eat them for free so I took them. Then I went back here!"  
  
"Aragorn, This relationship isn't working out." She said as she took out a bunch of papers from her hand bag and threw then down at her naked husband. "I wanna divorce!"  
  
Aragorn looked shocked. "What?!?! A divorce but honey."  
  
"I never really loved you any way! I just wanted to be queen! Besides! I love Legolas now!" She turned to him.  
  
Legolas who had been calmly watching the conversation now turned to Arwen who was slowly coming closer to him. "What the hell." But his sentence was cut off as Arwen placed a kiss on his lips. Legolas looked shocked at first but soon found himself leaning into the kiss rather then turning away from it. "Arwen honey..." he said softly. He was about to move into the kiss again but found himself being choked.  
  
He turned around to see Aragorn strangling him. "Arrraaagoorrn" Legolas cried hoarsely.  
  
"Aragorn stop!" Arwen said. She was close to tears.  
  
"No one takes me grrrr... zzzzzz" Aragorn said but was silenced by the tranquilizers.  
  
Legolas fell to the floor unconscious.  
  
So here Arwen was standing there with two dozing men. "Oh what the hell," she said. She took the tranquilizer and soon fell asleep with her companions on the floor.  
  
TBC 


	5. All my Horses and Giant Rabid Hamsters

Chapter 5 All my Horses and Giant Rabid Hamsters  
  
Mean while.  
  
Back in Rivendell.  
  
Merry and Pippin were throwing a huge keg party. Beer was everywhere and the house smelled of weed like there was no tomorrow. The whole group had begun to settle down though when their favorite soap opera began playing. Every one gazed at the TV with hypnotized glances. Then in big bubble letters came the words 'All my Horses and Giant Rabid Hamster'. The words were read by some drunk elf and in the back round you could see the set falling apart.  
  
The TV started to say, "Mean while, back in Vailnor, Feanor was about to murder his half brother when all of the sudden his wife ran in, screaming 'I want a divorce! You've restrained the excesses of your passion on me too long, mister!' "Ooooohhh!" said everyone who was watching.  
  
Then some anonymous hobbit who had not seen the show before asked, "What the heck does this have to do with horses and rabid hamsters?!?!?!?"  
  
But everyone just looked at him and then said in unison, "SSSHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
The Tv continued:  
  
" 'Seven pregnancies! Seven! What do you think I am, a sex machine????'  
  
'Shut up, woman! I have to kill this traitor.'  
  
'Look, Feanor, I think we have to work out our differences once and for all. So what if our hair is a different color.'  
  
'Shut up, idiot! I have to kill you.' (triumphant music)  
  
'We, the Valar, officially declare you, Feanor son of Finwe, the direct source of the revolt of the Noldor!'  
  
'WILL YOU PEOPLE PLEASE STOP INTERUPTING ME! I'M TRYING TO KILL MY HALF BROTHER UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF THE (dun dun dun) DARK LORD!!!!!!!!!!!'"  
  
All the viewers gasped. Then suddenly the phone rang. Pippin groaned then got up and answered the phone, "Hello? Please be quick because I'm trying to watch the season finale of my Soap Opera and its very vital that I see it!" "Pippin?" It was Elrond.  
  
Pippin gasped. He looked around Imladris. God had they trashed the place. Then curiosity filled him. "You're making a long distance phone call from Rohan!? That's got to cost millions!!!"  
  
"Yeah.. Is Aragorn there? I know he was supposed to be watching the place."  
  
"Uhhhhh.. I have to go to the Bathroom!!!!" He said then quickly dropped the phone and pulled the reluctant Merry away from the TV.  
  
"What the hell do you want?!?!? I'm trying to watch my soap! It was just as the sky was about to fall and..."  
  
"Elrond's on the phone!" Pippin interrupted.  
  
"Shit!" Merry cried.  
  
"What the hell are we supposed to tell him?"  
  
"Humor him! Say a joke or something!"\  
  
Pippin ran to the phone and picked up the receiver. "Elrond, I have one thing to say to you: What did the fish say when he swam into the cement wall? Damn! Get it? Dam, damn..?"  
  
The other line gave a typical, exasperated Elrond-like sigh. "Ha ha ha. What have you done now? How much is it going to cost to fix?"  
  
"Nothing." Pippin said as somebody knocked over a very expensive 2nd age carving of Gil-galad in the hallway.  
  
"Pippin! That sounded like a very expensive 2nd age carving of Gil-galad that is located in the hallway smashing!"  
  
"No it wasn't...that was, uh, Merry, yeah! That's it! He's uhhh *cough* brushing his umm.. *cough* teeth?" Pippin said Awkwardly.  
  
"Oh! Ok!"  
  
'Thank god he's so gullible!' Pippin thought.  
  
"I heard that!"  
  
Pippin had forgotten he could read minds.  
  
"Oh shit." he thought.  
  
"Foul language will get us nowhere! Now where the hell is Aragorn?!?!?! What have you done to him! You better not be hurting my Arwen!!!!!"  
  
Pippin hoped that they weren't dead, or kidnapped or, even worse, hanging out in a super-cool bar in Rohan smoking pot. He would get in biiiiiiiiiiig trouble.....  
  
Then Pippin heard Merry cry out "Pippin! Get your ass over here!!!!"  
  
"Uhhh. that would be my mother in law! Better get going!" Pippin said.  
  
"But you're not married." *click*. Pippin smashed the phone down, before picking it up again and dialing Legolas' cell.  
  
TBC  
  
Will Pippin get through to Legolas' cell? Will Aragorn, Legolas and Arwen ever wake up? Will Elrond finally figure out what's going on? Will Merry and Pippin ever finish watching their Soaps?!?! Find out in the Next Chapter!!!! -Two High Hobbits 


	6. Back in the Hospital

Chapter 6  
  
Back in the Hospital..  
  
Legolas slowly awoke from unconsciousness to see that Aragorn was missing, once again. "Crud." Legolas said out loud to no one in particular. He looked around for Arwen but found she was missing too. "Double crud!!!!"  
  
Legolas began running frantically around the hospital room. 'Aragorn better not go tell Elrond about me and her. I'll be dead for sure!' Legolas thought to himself as he opened random jars and looked in a flower vase. After searching in the pillowcase and underneath a pencil Legolas sat down to think.  
  
'Ok, if I was Aragorn at his current state of mind, where would I be.' he thought. Then it struck him! "Hooters!" he cried out loud. Then he heard his cell phone ring.  
  
"Hello? This better be important," Legolas said into the receiver.  
  
"Legolas? This is Pippin. I think we have ourselves a problem. And by the way, where the hell are you guys! Did Arwen get there yet?!?!?!" Pippin said Anxiously.  
  
"Pippin? What the heck did you do to the Palace?!?!? What's the problem! I knew we should have hired a babysitter. Any way I'm in the hospital with Aragorn. And yes Arwen was here.. But Arwen sort of wants a divorce and sorta wants the love of *cough* someone else and then we all got drugged and when I woke up they were both gone."  
  
"Great. Well guess who just called?!?!? Elrond!!! Just our luck! He wanted to speak to Aragorn! You better do something!!!!"  
  
"Calm down! I think I know were he is. All you gotta do is meet me in Hooters in fifteen minutes. Bring Merry with you too. See ya there."  
  
"Bye."  
  
"Bye." *click*. Legolas let out a sigh as he began to run down to his car. He opened the door of the jaguar and slammed the keys into the slot. 'You better not have hurt her you jerk.' Legolas thought as he slammed down on the pedal. His car tore out of the parking spot and onto the busy highway.  
  
Mean while back at hooters..  
  
"Get your grimy paws off me you jerk!" Arwen screamed as Aragorn pinned her against the wall.  
  
"Noooooo," Came his voice in a long hiss.  
  
"What's wrong with you Aragorn?!?! Calm down! Please! We always knew are relationship would never work out! Please don't do this!!!" Arwen's voice came as Aragorn now placed her in a chair and was tying her to it.  
  
"It's all his fault.." Aragorn said as he backed away from the chair.  
  
"What are you doing?!?!" Arwen asked her husband as he began to leave.  
  
"Oh. You didn't figure it out yet. well you're my bait." And with that he turned on his heel and hid in the mob of a crowd leaving Arwen tied to the chair.  
  
TBC  
  
A/N: I know that wasn't really funny but was has to be done has to be done! It will get better in the next chapter.. If you want to keep reading. And I do love reviews. 


	7. Does anyone no how to drive?

Chapter 7 Does anyone know how to drive? Elrond pulled up in front of Imladris just as Pippin and Merry were running out. Fortunately they were wearing top hats and black mustaches and Elrond didn't notice them. When he got inside he was very disturbed to see that the lock on his "garage" had been picked and his secret stash of pot had been raided. "MERRY!!! PIPPIN!!!" *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Merry and Pippin who had now discarded their disguises were running to their means of transportation. Neither of them had managed to pass driving school. So neither of them had a car. "Lucky we found this master key in Elrond's pot stash," Pippin mused out loud as he opened the door to Elrond's Toyota Landcruiser and took a seat in the drivers position. The car was a little big so they had to work together. Merry sat on top of a bunch of old telephone books and did the steering, while Pippin was on the floor controlling the petals. "Ok, now ease it into reverse." Merry said slowly as he glanced behind him. Pippin switched the gear to reverse then pressed on the petal. "Big toe, big toe." Merry said as the car began to slowly back up. Then, all of a sudden, the car slammed backwards and out of the driveway. Running over several garden gnomes and a plastic flamingo in the process. The car went backwards several feet before slamming into a telephone pole. "I said big toe!" Merry said angrily. "Is that what you said? I thought you said, 'Slam the petal down as hard as you can!' My mistake!" Pippin said innocently as the two hobbits got out of the car to examine the damage. Luckily, the car was virtually unharmed except for the huge dent on the side. "Thanks to our ever trustworthy floatie!" Pippin said as he picked up an inner tube that they had placed around the car on hopes of preventing to much damage to the car. It was deflated and had holes all over it. Merry sniffed. "So brave! Going down in the line of duty like that! Rest in peace floatie!" Merry said as he sobbed then, obnoxiously loudly, blew his nose. "Cummon Merry! We have to get to hooters!" Pippin said as he aided his grieving friend into the car. So the hobbits drove to hooters running over three elves, demolishing exactly fifty-three garden gnomes (Merry had counted), knocking over a McDonald's sign, and managing to burn down three buildings in the process. "How the heck did we do that?" Pippin thought as they drove away from a dry cleaning store, which had randomly caught on fire when they had backed into it. And it was in this condition that the two hobbits parked what was left of Elrond's S.U.V. and ran over to an impatient Legolas. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* As Aragorn finished setting up the rest of his plan he thought, 'This will finally be revenge enough for all the things you've done to me elf.' the dismantled king thought to himself as he slipped in a video into the VCR and turned the T.V. on revealing that really annoying blue screen. He looked over at Arwen, who was still gagged. Right in front of her he had drawn a bunny (most people drew an "X" but Aragorn thought that a bunny was cuter) to mark the spot where he thought Legolas would stand.' Above the "bunny" was a cage that would drop as soon as Aragorn pulled a rope. "Cummon Legolas. Show me how much torcher you can go through." Aragorn hissed as he watched as Legolas entered the hooters and was beginning to walk over to where Arwen was trying to scream. TBC A/N: Ewww! Cliff hangery! What is Aragorn going to do with Legolas? How will Elrond react when he finds his car? Find the answers to some of the questions in the next chapter! The rest of them will come in chapter after this! ;) 


	8. A Perfume named Chloroform

Chapter 8 A Perfume Called Chlorform As Legolas saw the once familiar Landcruiser, he figured it had to be Merry and Pippin. Only Elrond drove and obnoxious car like a Landcruiser and only Merry and Pippin could mess up a perfectly good car, driving eight blocks. The door opened and out came Pippin, a bunch of old phone books and Merry. The two hobbits lay on the ground unmoving and for a while Legolas thought they were dead. But after a couple minutes Pippin got up, swayed a little like he was drunk, then wobbled over to Legolas with Merry following not far behind. "Hi," Pippin said. He also sounded, like he was drunk. 'Maybe he is drunk.' Legolas thought to himself as he took in the sight of the two battered hobbits standing before him. "Yea. Hi." Legolas said slowly. "So, did you go in yet?" Merry didn't sound drunk and Pippin seemed to have gotten his balance and Legolas guessed it was just because of the side affects of driving a car. "No I was waiting for. Hey? Do you guys smell smoke?" Legolas asked as he recognized the horrible stench. "Uh. No. that's just Pippin's umm. *cough* breath. yea his breath! He umm. *cough* just ate. uh. garlic?" Merry said both randomly awkwardly. "Ok!" Legolas said in full belief. 'Once again thank elves and their gullibility.' Merry thought thankfully to himself as the three of them pushed the door open to hooters and ran into the all to familiar Bouncer. "Name," said the big fat guy at the door. "Umm. we're with Aragorn and." Legolas never got a chance to finish since the bouncer interrupted him. "You're friends with Aragorn! He is our most valued customer! Any friend of Aragorn's, is a friend of mine!" The Bouncer screamed. Then wrapped his arms and gave Legolas a bear hug. I mean literally. He was wearing a shirt that said, 'Bears are my life!' and he was seriously tall. Legolas was finding it hard to breathe since the guy was breaking his ribs. "Is there anything I can do for you?" The bouncer asked. "You can *gasp* let go of me! *Wheeze* Please! *Gasp*" Legolas whispered hoarsely. "Of course my friend!" and he dropped Legolas who just collapsed on the ground and began twitching. "Uhhh.." Merry said as he watching the spasming form of Legolas in front of him. "Is there anything I can do for you little friends?" Said the Bouncer, "Would you like a hug too?" "No no no! It's ok, really!" Merry said quickly. The Bouncer frowned and gave them a rejected look. "What my friend meant is, we really need to go see Aragorn," Pippin said with a smile. He looked over at Legolas who was now standing but still taking in rasping breaths. "Of course, of course! He's right inside! Go on in!" The Bouncer said and stepped away from the door and then let the three of them walk in. As Legolas stepped in and saw Arwen, he wasn't really surprised at what he saw. There was Arwen tied to a chair and gagged. 'Aragorn probably got drunk and left her there.' thought Legolas. ////(A/N: Ok. we all know that's a sort of stupid thought and Legolas probably should have realized it was a trap. But maybe when the bouncer hugged him, he squeezed all of the air out of his brain. Besides, it works better for the story! Speaking of which, let's continue! -Two High Hobbits)\\\\ "Arwen!" Legolas called as he ran over to where the woman sat, tied and gagged. As he kneeled he saw a picture of a bunny painted onto the floor. 'They have the weirdest carpeting in this joint!' Legolas thought as he began to pull out his knife. All of a sudden a cage dropped from the ceiling separating Arwen from Legolas. Merry and Pippin, who were unsure of what they should do, just began to whistle and slowly walked out of the club and back out to the Landcruiser. Meanwhile, Legolas began to frantically look for the person who had done this to him. Then, out of the crowd walked a man. He was wearing one of those disguises with the glasses with an attached nose and mustache that you can get for like a buck at the grocery store. Legolas was completely oblivious to who this man was. "Who are you?!?!?!?" Legolas shouted frustrated. Who was this man! The cleverly disguised man smiled. "I have a present for you." Legolas, who was extremely fond of presents, completely forgot the situation, and shouted, "Oh goody! I love presents! Is it a Yo-Yo! I really need a new Yo-Yo!" The man took out a bottle clearly labeled 'Chloroform'* and poured it onto a cloth. He then took out a clothespin and put it on his nose. "Oh, it's better then a Yo-Yo. It's a pretty new perfume. Would you like to smell it?" Said the man as he walked up to the bars of Legolas' cage. Legolas, who never really paid attention in science when learning about the significance of chloroform, said "Ok! Sure!" The man handed the cloth to Legolas who began inhaling it. 'Thankfully elves are so gullible.' he thought as he watched the elf sniff the cloth over and over. "Wow. I feel funny. should I sit down or." *clunk* Legolas fell to the ground with a thud and began snoring loudly. The man smiled evilly as he dragged the sleeping elf onto a chair and tied him there and then, positioned the TV in front of him. This would be revenge. 'No one steals my girl.' said the man. He then once again slipped back in the mob of people and ordered a tray of pigs in a blanket. 'Capturing people sure makes people hungry!' the man thought as the tray of mini hot dogs was placed before him and he began to eat happily. TBC *: Chloroform, incase you didn't know, is this stuff that people use as an anesthetic. All you have to do is sniff it. Sort of like weed, with out the addictive and brain killer side affects. If you don't know what an anesthetic is, you probably shouldn't be reading this story. A/N: Have you guessed who "he" is yet. if you haven't then you are pretty gosh darn stupid. Ok! So close to Legolas' Torturing session! Yea! Just to let you know, it's not actual physical torture; I'm not that kind of writer. oh well. Oh yea, not much Merry, Pippin or Elrond in the next chapter so sorry. but don't worry their part is coming. *grins evilly* So keep reading and reviewing. if you review more I might want to write more. -Two High Hobbits 


End file.
